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david hobbs
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Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 7946
Location: Essex
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 Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 9:26 am Post subject: A certain witch |
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I'm sharpening up my pointy hat
I'm stirring my newty stew
I'm waving my wand
I feel like James Bond
I'm a witch, and I live near you
If I think your a Christian
A Jew or a Jane a Moslem from Timbuktu
I'll tell you your Barmy
And I'll send an army
And I'll bloody well sort you.
See I've got it right
And you are just wrong
Co's I'm spiritual honest and true
And if you don't agree
You'll tangle with me
I'm Raymond, and I'll BLOODY DO YOU
Blessed be 
Replies only accepted in the politest of terms 
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Last edited by david hobbs on Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:36 am; edited 2 times in total |
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laura
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Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 400
Location: hampshire
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| Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 9:30 am Post subject: |
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feeling brave this am ....obviously.....mr hobbs!!!
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david hobbs
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Joined: 27 May 2007
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Location: Essex
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| Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 9:58 pm Post subject: |
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| laura wrote: |
feeling brave this am ....obviously.....mr Hobbs!!! |
Well my lucks in because I think he has missed it
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evergreen
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Joined: 20 Jul 2007
Posts: 2725
Location: Tasmania Australia
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:02 am Post subject: |
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hehehe... he will find it
eventually 
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beantighe
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Joined: 04 Mar 2009
Posts: 472
Location: Torbay, SE Devon
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| Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 12:47 pm Post subject: |
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PMSL!!! Love it, David!
(sure Raymond will find it now it's been bumped up!) *wicked grin* |
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david hobbs
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Location: Essex
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| Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 4:48 pm Post subject: |
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I don't think he looks at the more intellectual threads on the forum.
I am sure that he also avoids the conspiracy section.
I wonder if his ears are burning.
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Raymond
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Joined: 27 Mar 2008
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| Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 5:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Hobbs,..... SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE!!! |
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david hobbs
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Location: Essex
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| Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 5:53 pm Post subject: |
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Where is the rest.
Mind you it's a job to find anything that rhymes with arse.
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Raymond
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| Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:02 pm Post subject: |
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My name is David Hobbs
And I'll come and meet your ghosts
So long as you make tea and cake
And be a gracious host.
I'll chase out all your ghoulies
And drive them far away
And won't charge you penny
Unless it's served on a nice tea-tray.
I'll arrive with my little gang
Anne and Mark in tow
We'll wave around some bent coat hangers
And find what we need to know.
I'll search every nook and cranny
And make a good job of it
As long as you make a nice cup of tea
And politely listen to my endless shit. |
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david hobbs
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Joined: 27 May 2007
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Location: Essex
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| Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:07 pm Post subject: |
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Hiding such talent should be made illegal
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beantighe
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Joined: 04 Mar 2009
Posts: 472
Location: Torbay, SE Devon
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| Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 8:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Where's the crying with laughter smiley??? |
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Lilly
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Joined: 22 Apr 2008
Posts: 549
Location: Islay of Widget
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| Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 8:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Raymond wrote: | | Hobbs,..... SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE!!! |
Raymond,you can do better than that! it doesn't rhyme for a start.
Have you lost your 'insults' diary,
Or perhaps you don't give a fart..
[Which is very unlikely too] 
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Lilly
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Joined: 22 Apr 2008
Posts: 549
Location: Islay of Widget
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| Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 9:08 pm Post subject: |
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| beantighe wrote: | | Where's the crying with laughter smiley??? |
here's one!
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beantighe
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Joined: 04 Mar 2009
Posts: 472
Location: Torbay, SE Devon
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| Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 12:34 am Post subject: |
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| I like that! |
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david hobbs
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Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 7946
Location: Essex
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| Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 10:11 pm Post subject: |
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I am trying to think of a rhyme
I do this thing all of the time
It's really not easy or peasy or squeezy
I am trying to think of a rhyme
I'm trying to think of a word
Be it buzzard or blue tit or bird
I'll find one in time , it will fit in my rhyme
I really must think of a word
I am thinking bottle or glass
I am thinking perhaps green or grass
By George I have got it,s not sprocket or rocket
The word I am seeking is arse.
But what on earth rhymes with arse
Perhaps it's back to bottle and glass
I know of some long words and even some song words
But just nothing will rhyme with arse
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evergreen
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Joined: 20 Jul 2007
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Location: Tasmania Australia
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Raymond
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Joined: 27 Mar 2008
Posts: 5379
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| Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 10:04 am Post subject: |
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| Grass. Class. Pass. Vase. |
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david hobbs
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Joined: 27 May 2007
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Location: Essex
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| Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:44 pm Post subject: |
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It's called poetic licence in case you didn't know.
Smow slow blow.......
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Raymond
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| Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 9:44 am Post subject: |
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| Wollocks, Kollocks, Bollocks!!! |
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david hobbs
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| Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 10:24 am Post subject: |
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Soon slipped out of aesthetic and back to pathetic then.
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Raymond
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| Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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| I am but a product of my audience. |
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david hobbs
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| Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 9:47 am Post subject: |
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In that case you should be dressed as a schoolboy.
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Raymond
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| Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:38 am Post subject: |
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You're right. I often feel as if I am in the presence of children.
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