Those closest

david hobbs · Those closest

Something has been touched upon here on the forum regarding close relatives who have passed.
Mum Dad Nan Brother Sister etc.

Why is it that in so many cases they don't seem to want to make contact.
Common sense tells me that these would be the first people who would want to return if it were at all possible.

I can't understand the idea that the more we want it the less likely it is to happen. In life these people would be the first to help if they knew that you had a need, so what changes after death?

laura

i was wondering the vey same thing.... yet in all fairness, i think they do contact direct rather than going through a third party.. it's just perhaps we don't always listen!

david hobbs

laura

but when it is someone very close to you like a mother or father their approach is much more subtle?
that is what i have chosen to believe anyway... i find i never get messages through from any family member when in a group or even a one to one reading (have always found these to be psychic anyway!)
but when i have a quiet mind ....whether in meditation or sleep... that is when i know my loved ones are around me. xx

evergreen

I think they are there we just don't' notice them.. with my granny I didn't know her but I know I look like her and had wondered why she never appeared to me but I had also never tried to make contact .. when I did she was there...

I think that the contact they make is often just not how we imagine it will be.. I often have clients who have radios switched on or doors opened or fans turned on.. they aren't mediums and there are the way loved one have managed to get through to them

I still believe the harder we try with some things the less we notice.. sometime you need to step back to really see (or hear)

Raymond

My Grandmother has only been gone for less than 2 weeks so in fairness I have to give her the benefit of the doubt.

My Grandad has been gone for 8 years and has never made direct contact with me. Even when I have readings from other mediums he never really comes through.

My dog is often around. I regularly smell her and once or twice have even heard her bark!

I've no idea why close relatives don't come back often. I'd be interested to hear a reasonable explanation to this.

swanlady

I,m both ways on this one.
My mum passed when i was seven and i have never seen her, or i don,t remember seeing her since she passed.
My dad on the other hand is different altogether.

He passed when i was 26.
The night before he supposedly passed away, It was 11.15pm.(i don,t know why i remember the time, but i do) and i was going upstairs to the bathroom. Mike was sleeping on the sofa and Trystan was in bed. As i got to the top of the stairs, I very clearly heard my dad call my name. all he shouted was"CERRRRR" It was very clear and i turned round to look down the stairs. There was no one there, so shrugged my shoulders ad continued to the bathroom.

I also must say that i had a dream on the Friday before his death, In the dream, I walked into my dads bedroom and found him dead in bed. as i was on my knees in the dream crying, The walls and two bedroom windows were,nt there anymore, there was just smoke. not heavenly or holy, just smoke. and my dad walked out of this smoke, stood there and looked at me. He said to me, "what are you crying for you silly mare????
I looked at him and his body in the bed and said, but your dead dada, look.
He said to me, take no notice of that in the bed ceri. look at me, I,m ok, stop crying now because dada loves you.

The one thing i did notice in my dream was it was in colour. my dad had on his light blue shirt, rolled up at the sleeves and his sandals he always wore in the house in winter. I also noticed he did,nt have his jewellery on and also his flat cap was missing from his head. also he had no glasses on.

The next morning, i told my dad, my hubby and my sister in law my dream, My dad told me not to worry and it was just a dream. hmmmm

What my dad did,nt tell me was that he saw my friend on that Sunday and had asked her to watch over me as he was going to pass away before the end of the week and he was very worried about how i would cope as i was so close to him.

So on the Tuesday night i heard him call me from downstairs.

I got up the next morning and it had been snowing all night. I kept Trystan who was six at the time home from school that day, and made my daily trip round the corner to my dads house.
His push bike was in the passage which was,nt unusual seeing as it had been snowing, No sign of my dad, which i thought he had gone out to check on his old age pensioners to make sure they were OK. ( he was chairman for the care of the elderly which he did voluntarily).
I did the housework, then went back home for an hour. I was back round my dads for 1pm when two of my brothers would call in dinnertime from work.
They both asked where he was, and the strange thing was. 3 times i stood at the bottom of the stairs to go up and see if he was still in bed, and 3 times i turned back. ( I still don,t understand why i turned back).
I told them both he was checking on his oaps.
They went back to work and i went home.
As soon as mike came in from work at 5.15pm, i told him to keep Trystan there while i went back round dadas to see if he was home yet.

When i got to my dads, The boxer and Yorkshire terrier dogs were stood inside the gate waiting for me. the strange thing was, the front door was wide open when i had closed it behind me when i left, and there was a build up of snow in the passage which would have been impossible over a period of an hour of me leaving, plus it had stopped snowing.
Anyway, I went in the house, put the tv on for background noise, and walked straight up the stairs to my dads bedroom.
I remember as i waked along the landing and neared his bedroom, i could see his legs under the duvet, and as i got closer, i saw his one arm hanging over the side of the bed which was,nt unusual as this is how my dad always slept.
I walked in the bedroom, at the same time calling Dad. As i turned to look behind the door to where the top of the bed is, i could clearly see that my father had died sometime in his sleep.
Exactly like in my dream But there was no smoke where the windows were, just this body in the bed. I did,nt fall to my knees, I ran screaming from the bedroom as my dads mouth scared me. (his muscles had relaxed, so his mouth had fallen open and i could have fitted both my fists in his mouth at the same time).
I ran hysterical down the stairs, only to be stopped by a brick wall, MY DAD!! Even though i could,nt see him, i could smell him, hear him. He said to me,
" you,ve seen the worst now ceri, theres a phone on the wall, think what you must do now sweetheart, don,t worry, dadas here with you, pick the phone up ceri".

I rang 999 and asked for fire police and ambulance, all the time screaming up the stairs for my dad to please breathe.

So even though i did,nt see my mum, i did see and hear my dad. I have seen him lots since he passed away. most of the times i saw him was wen he had just passed. which i will tell you about another time.

He passed away 14th Jan 1987, Ten days after his 63rd birthday. so the anniversary of his death is fast approaching. I don,t feel sad on that day, I celebrate my wonderful dad who was he most gentle loving wonderful dad any girl could ever wish for.

I also have to say that the last clothes my dad wore were his pale blue shirt still rolled up at the sleeves and his sandals which he wore in the winter in the house.

My wonderful dad Tommy Bridle

swanlady

Raymond?? I am truly sorry to hear about your nan hun. If you need a friend, you have my number.xxx

Bravo

Swanlady, what a wonderful story. I thank you very much for sharing it.

Kas

Do you think it is possible that they just become part of yourself?
We call it memories and love?

Waffle King

when it comes to this sort of thing, there isn't really much input for me, but for some reason i always thing of that hymn, Footprints in the sand or something, and to me, that makes some weird sense

david hobbs

Raymond

Well now here's a thing.

Last night I had a dream about my Nan. It was a spiritual dream not a normal dream.

In the dream she was mobile again. She was looking after about 8 kids, she was cooking at the stove and she was smoking. All the things my Nan enjoyed doing but hadn't been able to for years.

We were in her old house ( she adored that house ) and she seemed more happy and content than I've seen her for a long time on this side of life.

I truly believe this dream was her way of telling me she was ok, happy and doing the things she hasn't been able to do for ages.
There was no sign of my Grandad though. Strange.

She said to me however "I want four rows of four chairs".

I've no idea what that means.

david hobbs

Without going into the whole story, I remember an incident with a landlady of mine many years ago.

I sent her into trance using a crystal (don't ask). Anyway during the trance she met her son who had died when he was just six years of age.

She came out of the trance and burst into tears saying that her son had been wearing red and she never ever dressed him in red.

She looked at me for an explanation and without thinking I said, "that is so you realise it was not a memory but an event.

I said it on the spur of the moment but some things ring true and this did.

Raymond. You will puzzle over the four rows of four chairs for a long time.

Each time you do you will be close to your Nan.

Clever eh.

Raymond

Well actually I think the riddle is solved.

I told my Mum about the dream and she found it odd as well then after a while she pointed out that four rows of four chairs is sixteen chairs, right?

22 people went to the funeral. If you discount the immediate family being Me, Mum, Dad and my three sisters, what does it leave?

You do the maths.

laura

Bravo

If you have to add numbers or take away I would say it is making it fit.

Seems to me that the fact that these chairs are empty means she is reserving a spot for 16 people, maybe from four generations? Or perhaps she is anticipating an event at which 16 people will be present.

Raymond

Good ideas. Time will (hopefully) tell.

david hobbs

Raymond

Oh believe me, the last thing this forum needs is my Mother.

david hobbs

swanlady

I believe you do have leverage too David

Bravo

He's got a little what?

Raymond

All I'm saying is, I should have a t-shirt like this:

Click to see full size image

Bravo

Bless

wackyjacky

david hobbs

Back to the thread which if you recall was posing the question why do those departed not return very often, if at all, to those who where the closest to them when they were alive.

Well the night before last I felt I had to go and visit my friend Tom. It was his wife who died in the bath about six months ago aged 49.

He has continually been trying for contact with her, and asking why she hasn't made contact with him. Well we had a long discussion on the matter and while we chatted his doorbell rang. Ding Dong, just like the bell in the Avon adverts. I said to Tom that the bell had rang and he didn't seem to have heard it. He went to the door and there was not a sign of anyone at all.

I explained that I heard it as clear as a bell (sorry for the pun) He pressed his bell push and it was not the Avon bell at all l but a muti toned bell that played a tune.

I must admit I was a bit puzzled and asked him if the bell had more than one ringing tone. No he said.

Well perhaps I am loosing the plot but I would rather just think that Julie was having a little game with me. hello Julie. Thanks for popping in.

Raymond

The obvious question here is, was she ever an Avon lady?

david hobbs

Bravo

Why is she ringing the bell? Is it because she can't get in? Who can open the door for her?

Open the bloody door!

david hobbs

Well I just asked Magi and apparently Julie was never an Avon lady. But she did use Avon products all of the time. and was friendly with the Avon lady who lived just down the road.

tenuous

Raymond

Tenuous yes, but not a million miles away.

This is where a good teacher of mediumship would encourage you to follow your own instincts on this.

If you saw or smelled Avon products or one of their perfumes, would you think of her?

The 'ding-dong' sounded light and cheerful - was that her personality?

Spirit will never just lay it on a plate for you, you've got to work for it.

Never mind what other people say about 'making it fit', they probably still wouldn't be happy if a ghost popped up in front of them and said Hello.

It's the links that can be made that matter to YOU are the ones that count.

evergreen

the ring of the bell being different to the door bell says lots it couldn't be anyone ringing the bell .. it has to be another explanation maybe it was her... I prefer when they just walk up and say hello

a friend of mine's ceiling fan keeps coming on.... when she asked me about it I had this overwhelming need to talk about its relation to lavender and amethyst - to her that confirmed her friend who had passed five years back who was into these two things and she has both things in her memory.. is that a stretch I don't know all I did was give the message the rest is up to her

david hobbs

laura

could you have heard the bell as a prompt for you to "open the door" so that your friend could have direct contact with his wife?

Raymond

We have to get over this idea of 'making things fit'.

Yes of coure it's always possible to make things fit but this event was enough to make you wonder.

I'll give you an example.

I am probably the only Man on the planet who hates seeing a toilet lid up. Putting the toilet lid down really is one of my 'things'.

Lately I have noticed my toilet lid at home being up as well as the seat.

I would never do this myself because like I said, I am always so aware of putting it down after I have used it and it's happenening far to frequently for it to be an oversight on my part.

So, assuming it's spirit trying to make contact, why would they do somethng I find so annoying?
And if they can lift toilet seats why not do something else?

When I have more time I will solve this one and find out what it is they are trying to say.

And yes, that will most probably involve making a few things fit.

mark

well david maybee put a video camera in there

put a sign on the door so u remember video is on

and there are ways you can get the vid cam,lap top to record when there is just moovement,lol,sorry,and it will hopefully record the loo seat going up

then u will have evidence on video

david hobbs

david hobbs

Raymond

Mark, stop daydreaming about Will Young and pay attention.