this may sound funny but

billy nomates · this may sound funny but

my life is not as i would like it to be.........it was this fact that started my search for what really is going on........it has been very interesting and thrown up more questions than answers at times........a while back on here we were discussing creating our reality......recently i seem to think about things and then they occur.......thinking is the wrong word.......the thoughts just arise ie the other night at around 3 am i 'thought' 'i wonder if my car will start in the morning'.i have no idea where that came from but my car would not start in the morning because the battery was flat.......

a couple of years ago 2 different psychics told me that i had 'lots of bad things around me' so this has played on my mind occasionally........

recently i meditated to find out if i did have 'something' that was deliberately playing havoc with my life(yes i know it sounds crazy) and i found myself in the so called kings chamber in the great pyramid(i get lots of egypian stuff) a big ball of light obstructed my every move,appearing to block me.....i asked what this was but got nothing...........so last night i asked the same question and just as i was relaxing i started to choke on my own saliva....stopping my meditation before it had really begun.(coincidence)?....i coughed for about 15 minutes and tried again..........once more this ball of light appeared and blocked my every move..........................so is there something? a presence? a thought form? is it just an expression of the frustration i feel with things?am i creating this?
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on a similar topic.........meditation or trance has been used for millenia to find out hidden information........i was keen on this aspect.........in shamanism one can journey to different worlds to bring back answers to simple questions............using pagan or wiccan or golden dawn or similar meditations it would seem that the answering of personal questions is verboten.........why? whats the difference? its all the same stuff isnt it?

i asked this in the kings chamber and got no answer

meiah

Maybe change the focus a little, and meditate on what aspects of you are holding you back?

evergreen

Billy I love reading your story and history here... I get personal answers in mediations all the time.. I tend to ask that I be shown what I need to be shown and leave it to the energy around me to bring it through.. I go very high with my breath to do this so that my higher self is as close as I can manage at the time...

I dont' know if that will help you but sometimes I do find that when you want personal things you have to take the simple personal approach sometimes I don't go anywhere to get my personal answers or clarification..

also another suggestion is to watch for signs and things that thappen to you during the day maybe you are getting the answer from elsewhere but you have missing it????

david hobbs

When i do get around to meditating I do not ask anything. I just say to myself that if there is anything I should know the universe will tell me. It seems to work just fine. Some would say that I am passing the buck but to me asking the universe is just speaking to myself. I figure that I made my life and if I want to change it then I have to do it myself.

One thing I have found is that it is easier to work for others than to work for the self. It still brings rewards though.

billy nomates

is there anything we NEED to know?

i doubt that very much....whatever hapens the universe will just alter course.like a river.if it gets blocked then it just finds another expression....

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i meditated on what meiah said.....the only thing i could make any sense of was my lack of confdence.but then i knew this already..

david hobbs

meiah

evergreen

I actually think that lack confidence is lack of trust in yourself... trusting who you are and that you will always manage and continue on is a huge thngs that many peopel can't to.. also trusting that you are right where you should be right now is a great thing I feel.. I try to work like that all the time and since making that shift a few years back it has changed my self confidence immensely...

I dont' think we need to know everything to anaylse things to death can take you away fromt eh expeience and the enjoyment of what you life is bringing to you.. let it flow dont' always ask why just say thanks and take it as it comes..

Yes I am pretty easy going

david hobbs

I think that lack of confidence(self worth) is taught to you at a very early age by those around you who are without self worth. So is fear likes and dislikes etc. You then have the rest of your life to unload that baggage. Lucky aren't you.

I let go the shadow and embrace the self.

meiah

I bring light to the shadow to give it perspective, and to know it truly

billy nomates

my lack of confidence is due to every thing i do starting well and going pear shape.....having a well paid job and then being told i am too old or over qualified or being unable to get a job because i am not working!

Being unable to do the things i enjoy is also part of that..........
these things may sort themselves out as i am looking in new directions now................
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what i meant about 'needing to know' was of course about spiritual knowing..........as far as i can tell if all is consciousness which created this universe (or illusion) then surely IT knows everything and therefore it doesnt actually need to know anything ...........if we are extensions of the creator then what do we need to know or learn?

All mammals it would seem are inquisitive.why that is in our nature i have no idea.

meiah

david hobbs

My meditation on Tuesday was interesting. To me any way.

I saw that we are at a central point between the creator and the created.
The creative energy flows through this thing that we call a body and in our observation of the world we are playing a part in creating that world.
Sounds strange and the words are not the right words but that was the essence of it

billy nomates

the bhagavad gita says something like krishna is in bondage and so are we ......in other words we are here to work/create on his behalf........

maybe............cant say i know

david hobbs

Sceptic Tel

Billy I have a lack of confidence and this rears its head in so many areas of my life. I have spent most of my life proving myself to myself and to others, mainly it seems to the latter. Many of my projects have also finished on a flat note but I just carry on learning from the previous experience. Does it matter that I failed? Yes, but it matters more that I tried and that I have the will and determination to get up to try again.

I don't know if this applies to you but an epiphany that I had a year or two back was that what I do is often to try to gain approval or recognition from others due to my lack of confidence, this made me realise that I live my life for others rather than for just the joy of doing what ever I was doing for the joy of doing it. After trying so hard for so long I have reeled myself in and started to concentrate my efforts much closer to home, I've stopped seeking fame and fortune and the approval of others, I've closed my world down and live my own little life in my own little world. It feels right to me at the moment. Have I given up? No I have learnt from the lessons given to me.

I also think too much. So many people have told me this and I believe that they're right. Sometimes I think (there you go I'm at it again) that we should simply sit back and live rather than analyse and seek answers to impossible questions. Simply being mindful in your everyday life will help you understand life. I have also found that physical training helps to bring me back down to earth, or ground me if you prefer, sometimes it's good to concentrate upon what is on the outside rather than what is on the inside.

All that said 2008 has started as a very bad year I have had a list as long as my arm of stuff going wrong, I've never been so close to breaking down but life goes on and the lows are raising, things don't seem so bad now even though their not much better...

I've also been getting gut feelings that have been right 90% of the time, I've started to listen much more closely to my body.

Blimey I haven't had a forum ramble for a while

david hobbs

You go on and ramble. It suits us voyeurs(how do you spell vouyerrsrs?) wonderfuly well.

The great thing about a keyboard and friends you have never and will never see is that what you think uninteresting they find facinating. It's a two, way deal.

evergreen

Ah I understand Tel.... just keep rambling it is good to just let it out...

Remember there is never something you must do there are only things you want to do or not....