The Wanderer Returns

beantighe · The Wanderer Returns

*creeaak, the door slowly inches open, and a gnarly, clawed white hand appears, nervously clutching a pole to which is attached a rather grubby white piece of cloth. A hollow, wavering voice issues from behind the door and utters:*

Hi all, it's Beantighe here, just surfaced from a long sojourn in the gloomy depths! Can I come in? It's flippin' taters out here!!

Raymond

Welcome back Beany!!!

Good to see you're still kicking. Nothing much has changed. A few arguments, the world has ended a few times and a couple of pregnancy scares - just the usual.

david hobbs

Yes you can and I shall put the kettle on.

evergreen

yay so lovely to see you are back yay!!!

swanlady

swanlady

Then hides while they all start screaming at me for barking orders at them all. HeeHee

Raymond

david hobbs

Yes it's manners to ask first

swanlady

Please don,t tell me that wales is the only place where they refer to a footstool as a poofah!!!!

I feel so silly now

Raymond

LOL!

Of course not Swanny, actually I refer to them as a poofee.

swanlady

Its been called a poofah down here in wales since Gay was a word meaning happy and joyful and no other meaning attached.

Raymond

And people who were unwell felt 'a little queer'.

Wales doesn't have the monopoly on the stranger usage of the English language Swanny.

swanlady

wackyjacky

Well, I call it a puffy!

Bravo

I've always known them as a pouffe (pronounced puff).

But then again I am common...

wackyjacky

Try saying it with a french accent Bravo, you wont sound so common!!

beantighe

I'm enjoying that cuppa right now, Swannie! Haven't had a laugh like this for months - jeez I needed one!

That chatter's just reminded me - I once worked in a soft furnishing dept many years ago, and was covering one lunchtime, when the phone went in the office. (That was a misnomer, really, it was just a glorified cupboard under the stairs.) Anyway, the guy on the other end was a real lah-di-dah pompous git - no Hello, or Good Afternoon, just - Do you sell poofs? With a supreme effort, I maintained a level expression and replied, Certainly, Sir, what colour would you like?

Raymond

I love those old fashioned meanings for certain words.

I remember one christmas we took my Nan to Lewisham market. For those who don't know Lewisham it's a very black area.

Anyway, my Nan wanted a new hat so we went to this hat shop and she tried on a few. There was this particular hat she wanted so she held it up and called out to the shop girl,

"Excuse me love, does this style come in nigger brown?"

Oh how we laughed just before the race riot kicked off.

beantighe

Oh dear, I can just imagine!

It's been so hard for people of my generation and older - like having to learn a new language, and be so careful what we say. So much doesn't mean the same as it did when I was young, and there have been many occasions when younger people have refused to understand this and make allowances, and instead just gone straight for the jugular, which has often shocked and saddened me. The ultra-pc never make allowances for genuine mistakes.

Raymond

I never make genuine mistakes - only deliberate ones.

F*ck 'em if they don't have a sense of humour.

Waffle King

"Agreeing with Raymond"

Hello again Beany, come out of the cold and into the recently decorated with a piraty feel GHE?

Raymond

I thought we agreed to redecorate with a mock-tudor, swahili jazz kind of feel this time.

Waffle King

narrrrr matey!

evergreen