Oh dear.....

Raymond · Oh dear.....

The recent advertisment for a new Witch of Wookey Cave caused a bit of a sensation.
Foolishly I hoped that the people behind the cave were serious about keeping local legends alive and appoint an official Witch of the caves.
I hoped this would help with promoting a positive attitude of the real witchcraft.

How wrong can you be?:

They had one thing in common – they could all really cackle. Apart from that, the would-be applicants for the post of the witch of Wookey Hole could not have been more diverse.

Some were clearly there just for fun, in outfits they must have hired from fancy dress shops. Others seemed like professional entertainers who saw the gig – and the £50,000 salary – as a pretty good career move. There were even some who said they fancied a change of direction in life. Two teachers and an accountant were among the 500 or so hopefuls who arrived at the Somerset attraction – in cars rather than on broomsticks – this morning.

And then there were the 'real' witches, those that said they really could cast spells, heal the sick and perhaps cause a little mischief.
Would-be witches hope to fill the post of resident at Wookey Hole
Link to this audio

The attraction near Wells was looking for a new witch to teach visitors about witchcraft and magic after the previous incumbent retired. The job offer comes with a salary of £50,000 pro rata based on work during school holidays and at weekends.

The job advert, placed in local newspapers and job centres earlier this month, says the successful applicant "must be able to cackle" and "must not be allergic to cats".

Wookey Hole said it has since sent out 2,319 applications, and has received 23 letters of complaint from church or religious groups.
In the end, the judges opted for 40-year-old estate agent Carole Bohanan, of Shepton Mallet, Somerset.

She will resign from her job and go by the name of Carla Calamity. Carole – or Carla – said: "I am going to be a great witch. All it takes is a little bit of magic and a little pizzazz. It's a natural progression from my old job as an estate agent. I have been using my witching skills to sell houses for a long time."

"I am a Witch with a difference" She said even though I can cackle and turn people into toads, I am generally a nice Witch. A glamourous Witch".

Legend has it that the caves were home to the Wookey witch who was turned to stone by Father Bernard, appointed by the Abbot of Glastonbury to rid villagers of her curse.

The new Witch of Wookey.

Bravo

When I read this I wondered how you'd react.

You didn't expect any different did you?

You could always phone the newspaper and offer to do an interview giving the story of a real witch? Could make a few bob out of that too I reckon...

Raymond

white wolf

no chance of her going sky clad then.?

Raymond

LOL! Now that I would approve of! I can see it now, all the little kiddies and 'nice' people have a day trip from Surrey to Wookey Caves to see the Witch and when they get there she's stark bollock naked getting someone to perform the five fold kiss on her - or better still, The Great Rite! Hahahaha, now that would be funny.

white wolf

That as they say.,,,, would be entertainment.

ww

david hobbs

Hey don't knock it mate.

All witches should look like that instead of the sad old specimans I have seen knocking around.

I think she is the new Wookey Nookie.

evergreen

it can be frustrating that people have little knowledge about the real methods and reasons behind the craft... what can you do but stand up and be counted and in your own small way effect the understandings of others....

she looks pretty good really ...

Raymond

She looks like some pissed up old soak who sits at the end of the bar always talkng about the good old days.

Apart from that, I'm sure she's very nice.

Anyway, I did read something today that The Museum Of Witchcraft in Boscastle is going to apoint a 'real' witch to answer questions on the craft when visitors go to the museum.
So long as this witch doesn't start handing out 'how-to' instructions to help muggles find a boyfriend or get money I suppose it might be ok.

evergreen

ha Raymond ... I was thinking well she looks like a happy kind of ckicky

and that appointment sounds like a step in the right direction

swanlady

Whats a five fold kiss?

evergreen

yeah good question Swannie the image I had with that .. was rather pornographic ... please explain

Raymond

The Fivefold kiss is a greeting carried out within the magick circle by some Wiccans and neo-pagans usually as part of the opening of the circle ceremony.

Usually it is only performed between the High Priest (HP) and the High Priestess (HPS), and even then it's usually only performed by covens who work skyclad (naked).

Five areas of the body are kissed and in turn the following verse is said:

"Blessed be thy feet, that have brought thee in these ways
Blessed be thy knees, that shall kneel at the sacred altar
Blessed be thy [womb/phallus], without which we would not be
Blessed be thy breasts, formed in beauty, formed in strength
Blessed be thy lips, that shall utter the Sacred Names".

Well, that's the verse we used when I was a Wiccan. The shortened greeting of 'Blessed Be' often said in place of 'Hello' between Witches and Wiccans is said to come from the above verse.

While I'm here I'll explain what The Great Rite is as well. Again, it's usually only performed by the HP and HPS, however it can be a group activity if there are even numbers in the coven.
The Great Rite is the sacred act of lovemaking for energy raising purposes and honouring the relationship between the God and Goddess.

It isn't just a mass orgy or a chance to get your end away, it is actually a highly respected religious ritual by those who perform it.
More often than not The Great Rite is only peformed between a married or established couple, as many Wiccan covens are made up of exclusively married/established couples.
It really isn't just a shag-fest.

evergreen

wow .. so I had the right image ..

I better go do some work lol my poor next client no letting what I'll be seeing for them ha!

evergreen

even though I made that comment about it being pornographic I can see how the energy can be increased via those acts....

do you think it necessary Raymond or do you think it is helpful?

Raymond

Sex magick can be very potent actually.

It isn't the 'right' or only way to perform magick, other ways are just as useful.
It's just a tool like any other.

evergreen

yeah I can really see how if the intent is there ... then this can really make things happen I had a friend a number of years back and I think he may have been very good at this sort of thing...

now I have another question you know when you come across someone and you can feel that real buzz or sacral energy coming from them.. I wonder if they would in particular be very good at this form of magic more so than others? or that related solely to power and the will?

Raymond

ANY kind of magick requires 3 things. Energy, focus and will.

How you raise that energy is entirely up to you. It could be through chanting, drumming, singing, dancing or sex, there are other ways but you get the idea.

Sex magick can even be performed alone.

Without giving too much away here I can speak with confidence when I say solo sex magick can be very powerful.

I know what you're going to say Hobbs, so I'll say it for you - what a w*nker.

evergreen

... Ive been single 10 years now Raymond lol

Raymond

Me too!

oooooh, that's a lot of batteries.

evergreen

oh god I leave myself open for it

Raymond

It's leaving yourself open that's wearing all those batteries out!!!

evergreen

that a mouth open wide jaw dropping smile there Raymond!!! ha!

white wolf

Very few people know im Wiccan and that includes my wife.
My sister is my only family member who knows aswell.
My boss at work knows and a few mates and its true they all assume im going to the New Forest to have sex and mass orgies every time.

in my dreams perhaps but not a reality haha

ww

david hobbs

What about my favourite.

The Mayday celebrations.

I was a very poor witch indeed in fact I don't think I ever was one because I thought that most of it was pure ego and bollox, but I did like most of the festivals especially the Maypole.

The energy was fantastic and it was not just the young people who were affected by it.

As for the five fold kiss well what can you say.

white wolf

Im very lucky as my HPS is a very dear friend of mine and i am in her paranormal team aswell as another. All of our coven are good friends
and like one big family so its great.

My favorite time is samhain to be honest,in the new forest its special as we have our own area just for us in a valley and often while there wild ponies and deer have come near the circle.

One time i could not attend our members all swear they heared a wolf calling on the plains that night. i thought that cool.

I sometimes work skyclad at home but its nothing we do within our circle,that said my HPS is in another coven aswell where they do.

ww

Raymond

Mr. Hobbs is right, May Day (Beltaine) is a very lusty time - the sap certainly rises when people are out a-Maying.

I'm with you though WW, Samhain is my absolute favourite time of the year. Apart from the fact that it's a dark festival I don't actually come alive until then, at last the dreadful summer is over and we have the lovely long winter to look forward to.

oooooh, I'm excited already - not long now.....

white wolf

Im a night person so winter time and the dark nights suit me well.
.the wind and the rain ,the fog and snow the changes in the colors in the woods etc are all special.

and you cant beat a good fire indoors aswell to come home too.

ww

Raymond

oooh stop it, I'm getting winter-lust already, and it's still July!!!

david hobbs

Raymond

white wolf

Yes Dave i rather see your point there.

Had a mate who came home from work one night to find his wife had gone out and left the 7 yr old alone,he made toast caught the kitchen on fire too.
He came home to find a load of firemn aswell, haha

They are no longer married and the whole thing caused much trouble.

www

evergreen

Dave you can tell Magi its ok a seven year old has done it too :)

david hobbs

Well I hate to say it but Magi is no cook.

She even burns boiled eggs.

No really.