My travelling companion

david hobbs · My travelling companion

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This is Mark.

You know a bit about him but there is lot's more.

He is seeking a little guidance at the moment.

meiah

And you went to the Smithy!!!!

Eat more. Of the right things.
Smile more. Its a superb life.
Trust yourself more. You know more then you let yourself think.
(I read this back, and could be talking to myself)

Waves and waves of energy coming from this picture. Wonderful.

Waffle King

whoosh, like being hit by a wave on that one! Will have to back meiah up on everything she said, cos i've picked up near enough the same, so not going to bother retyping it lol (i'm in a lazy mood today lol)

i'd also say, "Mind The Gap" i feel he's to make a step in the right direction, but if he falls to short, maybe not so good, so "Mind the gap"

david hobbs

At the moment Mark is assistant professor at the Einstein University in New York. He works on Genetics (don't ask) it's beyond me.

Any way at the moment he feels that his work is not fulfilling him and wants to move on. His is probably one of the most prestigious positions in a uni anywhere. But still he has restless feet.
He is very careful what he eats and he eats like a horse.
He does not realise just what a genius he is and is full of doubt.

Having passed through both Oxford and Cambridge a few years back and getting doctorates he asked me if I thought he would get a decent job. Jeeez.

Any way he has gone back to New York and I think he has sorted things out.

billy nomates

the mind is a very curious thing.......i guess fulfilment comes in many forms

a guy who was a hedge fund manager had deep feelings of lack of self worth.his friends were very weathy.he killed himself apparently because he felt that he didnt match up to his peers..........he was worth £24 million!

isnt the human race barking?

meiah

No, its wonderful!!

We each push ourselves in a direction which makes sense to us, we each do so much, achieve so much.

Just sometimes we forget to pause and see our achievements, to see ourselves through the eyes of others, to see the smiles of another person when they see us.

Must be late, am getting mushy

david hobbs

evergreen

I'll do something clarvoyant for Mark vai pm or something if that is what he wants?? I feel it may be David?

[spolier] .... From the photo he looks unfulfilled to me.. I think there is a creative person there trying to get out... So much darn science for some reason fact figures adn equations I keep seeing. I also feel he wants to move move move.... I see him side stepping things too like he avoids confrontations at all cost- there is a message in that it would be good for Mark to look at why he is where he is what keeps him there. I get a sense of wanting to sharing my learning and ideas with others but not enjoying it somehow either- I need passion in my life adn passionate people too

There appears to be a sense of unhappiness with him like things aren't as he anticipated.. it is like well I got to the top of the mountain and there was nothing there... so I feel a bit deflated.

He is looking for happiness in the wrong places

some kind of inner sense needs to be looked at here I also hear go with your gut he must be very softly spoken a real thinker because I see his head tilted to the side when he speaks and he appears to be deep in thought

I like him very much the softness of this man is just lovely he needs someone a bit bubbly in his life to make him really smile and help him be more impulsive[/spoiler]

david hobbs

Mark is visiting his mother in Spain at the moment, but I shall email him and ask him to get in touch when he returns.

Spot on with the reading Madeline.

It would be nice if you could talk to Lee. I think his present path is similar to yours.

evergreen

that is fine of course David.. I am happy to correspond...

and do I know Lee? sorry if that shows ignorance? Happy to talk to anyone at all similar I need head talk and idea sharing with all of this stuff.. thanks David

evergreen

oh I am so sorry Lee is our new member- yes of course hopfully he will pm me and we can share some things

I'd enjoy that I am sure

evergreen

cripes David, just read what you have said about Mark.. surely I have read for him before or something or looked at a dream something like that... ?

for someone so well acomplished it isnt unusual to lack confidence but it may hold him back- I feel it is about balance for him right now, balancing the intuitive and the logical he doesn't have to give one up he can accept and work with both

david hobbs

evergreen

meiah

There's a chap lives just over the road from me. Trained as a rocket scientist (really), towering intelligence, quiet unassuming sort of chap, not overly outgoing.

He's an aerial engineer now, and happy. He spends his days with people who appreciate what he does, and is the leading light of the pub quiz team. He goes out of his way to help people, but in an almost invisible kind of way. He squirms if you thank him, but glows if you smile. It "fits".

Whitchurch is full of people like that. Who have chosen not to do what they can do, in order to do what makes them happy. I used to think they were stuck in the Whitchurch "time warp", and were wasting their talent. Now I see they made a choice to be happy, fulfilled, rather than being what society would judge as being successful.

It works.

david hobbs

evergreen

yes I like to now say just because you can do it doesn't mean you should do it

it isnt' a waste .. as appears to be the "general thought" of those on the back bench

david hobbs

Going back to Meiahs rocket scientist I often wonder if what we do when we leave school is what is mostly expected of us by others.

You can just imagine an C stream comprehensive telling their parents that they want to be a head of the BBC and a student with a doctorate telling the family they plan to be a shop assistant.

meiah

My youngest has just had that battle.

She wants to be an engineer. She is a MENSA member, top 5 of her school, and wanted to do an NVQ in engineering as well as 10 GCSE's instead of the 12 GCSE's she was expected to do.
She finally bowed down to pressure and opted to do the 12 GCSE's.
She is looking for a work experience place in a garage, and maybe a Saturday job apprenticeship instead. She feels she needs to be seen to do the "right" thing, even if she follows her dreams alongside that.

I told her to do what she felt was best for her and I would support her whatever she did. She felt pressure from others wasn't the best thing at this stage, and that the others may well know something she doesn't, but that this is not a compromise.

The hardest thing as a parent to to give your child the freedom to make their own choices, and to support them whatever they choose.

Thing is, I am now on my fourth career, and it looks like it will be successful, and is certainly making me happy. I don't know how many people actually stick with what they decide, but as long as you have the imagination and determination, you can do just about anything.
New choices come up constantly, so to miss one now doesn't mean you won't have another tomorrow.

From my class at school (top stream), about half are in Manager / Director positions, and about a third have now taken up trades. Most have changed their career path several times.

Its a choice thing. And a self belief thing. Seeing possibilities and acting on them. Its not scary when you have done it.

Made me think now. I have lived three or four completely new lives in this lifetime. One change leads to another, leads to another. Nothing ever static, but that does not mean no roots, no firm ground. You just tsand firmly someplace else.

Am waffling ..............

david hobbs

I suppose that having had 36 jobs apart from many years working for myself I am not in the strongest position to comment. Yes I know you are waiting for the but, so here it is.

But isn't it great that life places our beliefs before us in a form that tests how strongly we hold those beliefs or perhaps the correct word would be principles.

You said do as you will but do you truly feel that way.

My parents gave me freedom by ignoring me most of the time so I envy your kids having a mum like you.

I just wonder which brings the most pressure to bear. Who knows?

Give her a few weeks in January in a freezing cold garage and see what the outcome is.

meiah

Do I really feel that way?
Yes.

She explained to me what she wanted to do in a way that was clear, showed she had thought about it and considered the options. She also had a list of things she wanted to know before she made a final decision.

If she had come up to me and said she wanted to be a pole dancer, I cannot honestly say what I would have said (after I had picked myself up off the floor). I guess like anything else, if she could explain it, I would accept it. (Note - I am not looking for justification, but for clarity....."because I want to" is sometimes as clear as it gets)

And I suppose here is the catch, she is free to do what she likes, as long as she has looked at her reasons in a way that she can communicate them. That is in itself a pressure - to understand her own motivations, her beliefs etc

Maybe its not easy having me as a Mum

evergreen

I was like your daughter you know supposed smart... I have had so many jobs and life expereiences that I valuve over my smarts any day

My eldest daughter wants to be a docotr and my youngest a vet... There is a huge part fo me that hopes neither of them get their wishes...LOL I would rather they have a fuller life BUT then what will be for them will be I have a feeliing neither will do that I will likey have a Lawyer and a business woman in the family.. hopefully they will be happy and challenged and really enjoy their lives

laura

ask my elder daughter what she wants to be... you will probably get a sarky answer!! i don't worry about what she wants to do because i know she will make the most of it and enjoy life regardless!!! ...... my younger daughter i worry about!??