david hobbs
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My introduction to the covenWhen a friend took up with the local witch I was invited through him to go to a meeting at his new lady friends house.
All the coven will be there I was told in tones that suggested that I should put on my reverential head for this meeting.
I turned up with Magi and was immediately made welcome. "This is a very special occasion" I was told by the lady who ran the coven. Her teachers and old coven leaders where attending tonight and these people where treated with great respect.
In a room full of tie dyed and pentcled people I saw an elderly man and his wife. He in suit and tie and she in twin set and Pearle's. I thought perhaps the coven leaders auntie had come along for the evening and was stunned to learn that these two where the oldest and most respected coven leaders in the whole of the area. Over the years they had taught hundreds of would be witches the ways of the craft.
Magi and I mingled and chatted and soon the whole house was full of fully fledged pagans all on their best behaviour. Slowly they began to congregate in the kitchen that led to the back garden with the residue taking up seats in the adjacent sitting room.
Time to nip out for a fag as it looked as if some kind on meeting was about to take place.
I went to the back of the garden and sitting on a bench I was amazed to see an old school friend from some forty years ago. Even more surprised to see the spliff hanging from his mouth which he made no attempt to conceal. Not that I could give a damm anyway.
He passed it to me. "here you go" Not wanting to appear stand offish and offend my old friend I took a few deep puffs on this log sized object.
I was never one for such things and within minutes my head was spinning but that didn't stop me having a few more puffs.
A voice called up the garden "time to start" it was the coven leader summoning any stragglers to come back into the house.
My old friend saw that i was by now a bit shaky on my feet to say the least and I had a grin on my face that a surgeon would have found a challenge to remove.
"Dave for Christ's sake don't make me laugh you know who is here tonight" No problem I said I'm fine.
We made our rather unsteady way up to the back door in the pitch black and I pushed the door. No one had told me that it was a stable door,the sort that has a top and a bottom that operate independently. As I pushed the top part shot open and thrown of balance I hurtled through the door and landed in a pile of arms and legs on the kitchen floor. All eyes where on me especially when my old school chum fell in on top of me after a full Walt Disney two seconds later.
We started to laugh. The laughter became totally out of control and by now the entire gathering had come into the room and where wondering what on Earth had happened.
I don't know if you have ever tried to make a sensible explanation during a fit of total hysterics and I don't think that I explained myself very well.
With stomachs aching and tears rolling down both my friends and my face
We made our way to the front room.
From then on every comment that anyone in the room made took on a meaning that seemed to us hilarious and we held our stomachs and laughed for England trying not to make to much noise. We where about as inconspicuous as an Eskimo in Marks and Spencers
So the evening went on.
Well said the chief witch at the end of the evening as I was leaving. "You seemed to enjoy the evening you must come again" and I did.
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