Kids,......... pah!

Raymond · Kids,......... pah!

Many of you will be aware that when it comes to 'young people' it would be fair to say I don't really have a great deal of tolerance. Well, it would be fair to say that when it comes to anybody that isn't me I don't have a great deal of tolerance, but that to one side for the time being.

When I say 'young people' I refer specifically to teenagers, and by 'teenagers' I refer specifically to my 16 year old sister.

She is forever moaning and groaning about how dreadful and utterly, utterly miserable her life is.
There she was the other day, sitting at her brand new laptop that cost more than half of what I earn in a month, moaning about how terrible her lot in life was.
Let me explain about the new laptop. I say 'new', it was bought back in February but has sat in the box ever since because nobody has had the good grace to 'set it up for her'.
As far as I'm aware there was nothing wrong with the old laptop but it was generally agreed that 'she needed a new one'.
Of course! Doesn't everybody need a laptop that costs over £1000 just to go on facebook once a week and tell their friends what they'll be wearing on Saturday night? Silly me, how could I make such an error?

Then there's the new iPhone, which incidentally is a "load of crap" because she can't work out how to send pictures to her friends, (presumerably pictures of what she'll be wearing on Saturday night).

Anyway, there she was whining about something, wearing an outfit that probably cost more than my entire wardrobe put together, with enough products in her hair that very probably cost more than the entire nation of Botswana makes in a year.

All this at the start of a 9 week (yes, 9 weeks!) summer holiday from college before she has to go back to her 2 day a week course.

The point of all this moaning was because she had been shopping and couldn't find the certain outfit she simply had to have before she flies out to Spain next week for a 2 week holiday (that my parents' have paid for incidentaly).

Spoilt? Her? Never let it be said.

The point is, I was in a charity shop the other day and saw a sign that I wish I had taken a picture of. It read:

TEENAGERS! LEAVE HOME NOW WHILE YOU STILL KNOW EVERYTHING AND HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS!

I should have bought that sign for my sister.

Although if she had found out I had bought her something from a charity shop she would have had to hose herself down with raw bleach.

meiah

(picks herself up off the floor laughing)

And yet, my eldests friends think I am "awesome", because I say when they are out of line, refuse to let them walk home on their own when it is dark, make sure they have eaten something, take an interest in who they are and what they are doing etc

Anyone of us, when given everything we want, could start to feel resentful.

There is a great line in a Bill Bailey song, which is a wonderful teenage rant........"how can I feel pain, how can I feel pain, oh how can I feel pain, when you are being so supportive?"

david hobbs

Well Raymond I guarantee you this.

One day life will come along and kick her cosseted little arse.

It will make or break her.

My friends daughter was exactly the same as your sister at that age.

One day she woke up and got herself into university and now she is head of department in a large hospital.

When I see her now I feel as proud as a parent.

Her parents split up when she was seventeen and that sadly was the making of her.

Raymond

Joking aside, I do worry about her.

As soon as life starts to bite I really don't think she'll be able to cope.

She simply has no idea when it comes to money. She literally does think it just comes.
She will need to either get a bloody good job or marry very well.

Waffle King

Raymond, i can actually agree with you, for the third time tonight actually, i'm like, the second son, so naturally i get enough, but am never really noticed, i just sit in the background and work on my computer course, hoping to earn some cash that no one will get off me, except the taxman, naturally, but really, if i was you, i'd give her a damn good slap, cos it really does sound like she needs one

Raymond

Waffle King

I hear broken knuckles can be quite painful, why not use a boxing glove? that might save your knuckles and give her the right impression.

I'd like to add, before everyone thinks me a bad person, i detest women beaters, and have partaken in beating a few blokes that have done it, i'm just mucking about

Raymond

I must say I don't actively support women beating either but I've met some women in my time who would make a nasty dose of the clap seem attractive.

The women I hate the most are the mouthy ones who think they can go around punching men because they think the men won't hit them back.

Well, I will. Lay one finger on me bitch and you're going dahhhnn!!!

Waffle King

Indeed, thats my view aswell, but i'm not stupid enough to get with a girl like that in the first place

Raymond

Just keep away from girls altogether Waff.

And you get lonely just pop round and see me.

Call me.

Waffle King

Ok, Raymond, very very very weirded out here, but on the subject off calling and the word me, your sisters welcome to call me anytime she wants

Raymond

Well Waff old bean, you've just missed out on the night of your life pal.

I'd be happy to put in a word with lil' sis though. Just send her your pin number so she can see your bank balance and after she runs a complete credit scoring on you she may ring you.

Waffle King

Raymond mate, money is immaterial, my smile and charm are worth more then Fort Knox

Raymond

ahhh bless! Young and dillusional. What a treat.

Waffle King

More of a gift, in my younger young i was quite the handsome devil and knew all the tricks, then i hit 18 and life got s*** cos i had to pay council tax

Raymond

Oh my heart bleeds for you.

Just wait until you buy a house and get hit with the service charge.

I have the pleasure of paying £168 per month just for some little Afghani bloke to come round once a fortnight to throw a bucket of brown water over the balcony.

Joy.

evergreen

you know Raymond its your parents that need the big wake up .. what are they thinking why is she holidaying and not working or learning ... what is that about????? She is absolutely treating the world how she has been taught to treat it

My eldest turns 13 soon and god help me mine are 10, 11 and 12 so I'll be snowed under with teen vibes... I'll probably be posting so much of this kind of stuff soon... anyway I spoke to her about getting a job next year just a part timer to help with her growing up process I suggested MacDonalds and she was horrified LOL.. so I've made it my mission for it to happen- no one is too good to clean floors and dishes and get paid for it.....

its not about the job and its not the money its about responsibility and learning how to work with others and that you are not above or below anyone or thing....... there is so much she needs to learn from others that I can't not teach her..

Raymond

Very responsible attitude EG. I just hope she sees it that way.

Sian

I agree with EG. My parents never let me go without but if I wanted luxuries, brand name clothes or trainers, trips away with school and kit for Army Cadets then I had to pay for it.

I had a warm home, food on the table and clothes on my back and that was it.

I have been working since I was 12. Full time since 16 and I did my A levels at college in night classes so I could work in the day. I have never been out of work for more than a fortnight unless it's been by choice.

I'm slightly poor as my Rob can't work right now but you know what, I work damned hard for the little money I have and I damn well enjoy spending it. Mainly on my daughter.

She has everything I had growing up and more. If I can afford to buy her something that she wants then I do.

BUT... If I can't afford to buy her then I tell her no, and I tell her why. She knows that if I say "Mummy hasn't got enough pennies" then that's the end of it. I give her pocket money (she's 4) and she saves it up for a magazine or a chocolate bar. 50p a week...it takes her a month to get a magazine. I am trying to teach her the value of money.

She knows I have to work and that's where the pennies come from. If she does jobs she gets extra pocket money.

Give it 10yrs and see how she has developed

swanlady

Well, I,m on your sisters side here Raymond. My Trystan had very much the same up bringing as you and your baby sis and he has,nt turned out a bad lad.
He knows value for money. how to save if he wants things. Hes been married for the past six years to a lovely girl Claire. He is very family orientated. he lives for his family.
He has a high paid job in banking which he worked his way up from the bottom(even with Dyslexia).
He speaks his mind and won,t hold back if someone needs telling but also has a very gentle side to him as well with people.

Your baby sis will survive in this big bad world when the time comes. She has the same genes as you.
so i have no worries for her whatsoever.

evergreen

ha! that's a good reply Swannie.. but I think the difference between Raymond and his sister is the way their parents have treated them i think there was some tragedy in the family that made them really sook over her... anyways Raymond had to work harder and stand on his own more...

i saw it with my father he became a single dad with my younger brother and sister .. and they both think the world owes them something .. which my older brother and I are far more responsible the younger ones live rent free and have no intention of very paying even though they both work.. its not their fault dad is holding on to them feeling guilty and doing everything they ask at the drop of a hat- but it serve them no good they dont' realise that they are actually using my father they are afteral now 29 and 26 and way too old to be living off their dad and buying sportz cars and the like while ha flogs himself as a bricklayer well into his 60's when he should be retired and living off all his hard efforts....

But remember that pride cometh before a fall .. it will happen it always does life smaks you int he face as reality hits you hard as the rest of us

swanlady

david hobbs

Taking another look at this thread it seems that there are as many reasons for people being the way that they are as there are people in the world.
We have no control over the family situation in to which we are born but it shapes us and we are helpless to avoid this situation.

There does however come a time in life when if we are lucky we begin to take stock of what we are and why we are that way.

If we have not done this then our life has been wasted because to me this life is about finding out what I am.

Raymond's sister and everyone else is given this opportunity to explore life and make certain realisations.

Don't worry about others because worrying never helped anyone or anything.

Just find the buttons to press to help others take a good long look at themselves and perhaps they will make some realisations.

Just as importantly ask yourself who you are to judge and why you are so right all of the time.

I include myself in the latter by the way.

It's a bit painful but i realise that judgement if for those who would hide from themselves.

Again I include myself in the latter.

These things will still be happening when we are long dead so why waste life concerning ourselves in things overwhich we have no control.

evergreen

think we all pretty much understand that David.... its is important to understand that we are all responsible for our own situations.. and often to learn and realise that it helps to stand back and observe others and learn from it - that why I discuss things not to judge but to actually get some perspective and to understand more about me and the world I am a part of

Raymond

What I don't understand is, why my parents are like it with her. They were never like it with me and my other 2 sisters.

Maybe because they knew she would be their last child. Who knows?

meiah

Every decision I make is in part a judgement. It is a jusgements of what is right or wrong for me at this time. If I understand that judgement, then there is no reason for regret, even if, at a later time, looking back, I may not have made the same decision / judgement.

and yes, through discussion, we can explore ourselves, our own views, and the basis on which we make our decisions and judgements.

It is the hardest and the simplest thing in the world to be a parent. Easy, because anyone can do it ( as long as there is nothing amiss biologically) hard because for quite some time, you have to make judgements for another person, your child.
We all get it wrong, and right.

Raymond, have you ever asked them why they treat her differently?

Raymond

No not really Meiah because apart from the fact that it really doesn't bother me all that much it's really none of my business.

I know she'll have her wake up call sooner or later and then I can do the 'I told you so' dance.

meiah

No you won't. Will you?

meiah

Anyway, this was a generic subject, wasn't it?

Raymond

evergreen

you do make me laugh......

my sister has spent one day with my daughters in the last 12 years ... in /Jan this year ... and she took them while she got a manicure... and they got one too.. at 9 and 11..... bright red nail polish and all.. and yes they had to go to the school the next day first day back this year so I was the bad horrible sister who made them take it off..... the kids understood but my sister was distressed...... :)

raymond I think they call them gen y...??

I've looked into it cause its not just my sister it does appear to be most (yes and that being very sweeping) young people... they'll grow up it just may take them longer than it did earlier generations ... lets face it each generation appears to be getting more pampered

Raymond

david hobbs

That is because most of their thinking is done for them.

When you played in the street you soon learned that to keep out of fights you had to get on with others.

There is a big difference between intelligence and wisdom.

Intelligence gets you a diploma and if you are lucky a decent job.

Wisdom gets you through life.