Here's another one for you...

Raymond · Here's another one for you...

This one isn't as meaty as the last but still, I appreciate your opinion.

My four year old nephew started nursery school in September. The other day one of his classmates, another little boy, threw a worm at him.
My nephew picked it up and threw it back at the boy.

Maybe the little boy wasn't expecting this retaliation so he started to cry. He also ran at my nephew and pushed him over, my nephew got up and proceeded to punch the boy on his face.

This made the little boy wail and so the teacher came over to investigate.

Anyway, long story short, the school has a 'no hitting policy' and apparently if a child hits another child the child that has been hit has to tell the teacher and the child who did the hitting has to stand in the naughty corner for some "time out" - whatever that is.

Regardless of the worm incident and the pushing, my nephew has been suspended for three days for hitting another child.

There are two things wrong with this as far as I can see. Firstly, the school has sent a message to the little boy that it's okay to throw things at people and push them and secondly they've sent a message to my nephew that it's wrong to defend yourself.

I think the school's policy is a load of b*llocks. And should a similar situation arise again I would encourage my nephew to hit them back and hit them bloody hard.
It's the ONLY way to deal with bullies.

Am I wrong?

Raymond

P.S. There's no news at present on the welfare of the worm.

meiah

You are not wrong.

My youngest clouted a girl who had been winding her up for the best part of half a term. Rhianne was 5. In my book, she showed remarkable restraint to hold back for that long. She did not deny it, nor did she justify it.
Her teacher was aware of the build up, and had to discipline Rhianne. That she did by asking her to sit "in isolation" in a comfy corner, with her favourite book, but unable to talk to the other children.
That, to me , was a sensible solution.

When the girls mum complained to me, I told her of what had been going on for the last 5 or 6 weeks. The mum disciplined her daughter.

All sorted. Now, doesn't that sound more sensible?

david hobbs

I think that hitting is OK when it is not a part of bullying, but self defence.

I was caned in front of the whole school for having a fight with a prefect who pushed me.

To me a fight often clears the air especially with young children. That is not to say that it should be encouraged, just viewed as a part of growing up and learning that you cannot always have your own way.

Raymond

I think a 'no hitting policy' is all wrong though. Obviously we don't want to encourage kids to go around knocking seven bells out of each other but children fight - especially boys.

We had a bully when I was at secondary school. He was from (what we used to call in the good old days) a "problem family".

He wasn't particularly big or menacing but he had a little gang and would go round picking on people for seemingly no good reason at all.

One year he decided it was my turn. It went on for weeks and weeks. There was never any physical bullying with him, like I said, he wasn't a particularly big lad but it was more name-calling and psycological bullying.

One day he Geography he came up behind me and grabbed a handful of my hair and cut it off with scissors, which of course made me the laughing stock of the school.

The next lesson was English and our English teacher used to settle the class into work and then go off somewhere.
When the teacher left I go up and smacked this kid silly in front of the whole class.
I was suspended and almost expelled but you know what? For the rest of the time I was at secondary school that kid was always nice to me.

He recently contacted me on facebook, he's been in and out of prison but he's still as nice as pie with me.

I always maintain there is only one way to deal with bullies - a bloody good hiding.

Sia

I think its wrong also, and we have told our boys to defend themselves, however the littlest ones do get upset, saying its not allowed and they will get in trouble.

But the oldest two now do defend themselves, and I have been at the school a couple of times and put across their point of view.

The bullys never did mess with them again.

I think suspending such a young boy for 3 days, is totally over the top, and putting a very negitive view of school for him, he is for a start less likely to trust to talk and tell the teachers anything now

The bullys never did mess with them again.

Ps, just for any bleeding hearts, they have always been taught never to hit first, or harm any worm .

Waffle King

Being probably the youngest member of this lil organisation i can only but agree, when i was in what we call year 3 there was this kid in class who had bullied me for the best part of a year, never ending, one day, the stupid Pratt decided to jump on my back in line, now, I'm a big lad, even then i was, he jumped on, and i just flipped him right over, to this day, he still has the 3 inch scar on his forehead where i smashed his head over the kerb, not saying what i did was a good thing,. Oh no far from it, but since he's never messed with me, and when other people have a go at me, even now, he's got something to say about it

evergreen

Raymond they are young children and they need to be taught that is is wrong to hit .. or push or throw things at each other .. I think the school over reacted the kids half the time don't know what they have done wrong they act on impulse at that age.. and take some time to learn how to treat others .........I believe that they should both have be spoken to and shown how to behave correctly.... it is plain dumb to suspend your nephew at that age he honestly wouldn't be able to fully comprehend what happened....

My son has suffered at the hands of a bully for a number of years now- blast being the skinny kids with glasses I tell you ... anyways last year I had enough when he came home one day covered in black bruises on his back where this same kid had kicked him while he was on the ground I rang the school and voiced my horror at the incident to which I was told they would deal with .. you know what they did they asked Griffin in front of the bully what happened.... ?? my son unfortunately is/was already scared of him and doesn't believe they can protect him ...... so he said it never happened... I was up the school the same day explaining the psychology of bullies and how the victim can be scared they said that Griffin was choosing to be a victim I nearly hit the teacher myself with that comment GOOD god ...........????????? I ended up saying I hope it happens to your kid that may be the only way you wake up

So I went to the department of education I'd had it.... the kid did get suspended and so on but the bullying still continued...

one day on the way to class this kid was following Griffin taunting him when Griffin entered the classroom he closed the door behind him so the kid was outside well the kid got mad and proceeded to choke Griffin .. now this went on to the point where Griffin nearly passed out.. apparently it took them 20 minutes to calm him down and get him back to normal breathing ARGH

imagine my anger when the head informed me that Griffin caused this behaviour by closing the door in the first place..... after all the history of this one kids bullying ????? I threatened that I would make this a police matter since they were doing nothing and since this kids was then 11 and I believe that is full on assault in my book their reply was that I could do that but that they would also press charges against Griffin for upsetting him in the first place..............

what would you do with that Raymond???

i went straight to the kid myself told him if he touched him again he would have me to deal with and the police....... he has been suspended three times this year for hurting other kids but he has never toughed Griffin again---

what can you do with these kids? I mean how can it be stopped ....

my concern is that this kid thinks he can get away with it because they keep making excuses for him and he will be soon in a young offenders detention center himself and I'll lay blame on the school for not stopping his behaviour when they had the chance when he was young enough to control in some way... I think it is nearly too late for him and he is only 12

Raymond

david hobbs

I think it is tougher for girls who are bullied.

This usually takes the form of verbal assult but can be just as devastating to a youngster as hitting.

Raymond

Yes indeed girls can be very bitchy, but as I said in my previous post, I think hitting somebody to defend yourself is ok - even if you're defending yourself from words.

meiah

This is much harder though. This involves "taking sides", being the butt of a joke, undermining your confidence so that you can't do anything about it. I do not know what the answer is to that.

swanlady

Is he still being bullyied eg?

When Trystan was in primary school or juniors as i knew it as then.
He was bullied everyday by a boy called Robert.
The teachers did everything they could to try and stop it happening, but still this kid bullied Trystan.
Trystan has only one kidney and is Asthmatic. and at the time was on a lot of steroids, and had gained a tremendous amount of weight. so was a prime candidate for bullying.

Anyway i got so fed up of picking Trystan up form school when he would e in tears sobbing. He was only 7.
So i found out where this boy lived and went there with Trystan and explained to his mum what her son had been doing to Trystan.

I was very promptly told to FK OFF!!!

So i picked her up by the front of he jumper with one hand and turned to her son and said.
Everytime you hit Trystan in future, i will come round here and i am going to hit your mummy really hard till she cries.

The poor little boy looked horrified. The mum burst into tears.
I let the mum go without hitting her. Trystan looked confused

But from that day on, this litle boy was always nice to Trystan.

I am by no means a violent person and hate confrontation, but sometimes in life, there is no other way around it.

Raymond

Very true Swanny and well done.

evergreen

so its right to hit it solves everything then.......... ???? until someone bigger comes along which i think swannie just proved

good on you swannie

I don't' know your education system its been years since I went to a UK school i went on the school camp earlier in the year where a boy bashed up another kid and was going to be sent home but it was "bad timing so they had to keep him for the day until a teacher was heading back towards civilization they decided he could go on the bush trek with the rest of us (as a parent there I voiced my horror at that that but was told it was none of my business.. as a psychic I told them he would do it again and this time worse - ha they thought I was big noting myself) So they gave me the job of shadowing this thug on a three hour rugged walk I did for an hour and a half before a teacher told me to leave him to her which I did gladly about 3 minutes later he had finished off his attack on the other fellow smashed his head open they found the other kids with a rock in his hand trying to defend himself and stupid teacher sent both home ...

of course the culprit is from a "horror" family and they actually had to get the police with them to take him home for fear of their own lives pity they didn't feel the same fear for the poor kid they basically hung out to dry - the father came out and wanted the other kids address so he could go and bash him too I guess they believe in hitting in that home

but I don't' want to teach Griffin to hit I want him to stand up for himself if that means clouting this kids then that is what it takes.... what I have done is taught him that to give the kid a mouth full and humiliate him .... seems to have worked far better ----- he has two sister who have helped him learn how to make people look really dumb :)

honestly this kids is really strong and huge compared to my skinny Griffin who weights 28 kg (HA!) and plays music not battle fields this kid James is rough n tough and doesn't care about who he hurts

if Griffin hit him that would;tn bother me but I can understand why he doesn't

Raymond

I'm not being rude here EG but Griffin sounds like a typical boy who has grown up in a house full of women without a man's influence.

It sounds like this other kid is a typical school bully and I'm afraid if Griffin starts mouthing him off like a girl then it will just make things worse.

Men use violence to settle disputes, from young boys to elderly men the rule of the battle is the fist and who gets it in first.

I say it again, there really is only one way to deal with people like this bully kid and that's to give them a bloody good hiding.
It may not teach them the error of their ways but they will think twice before messing with you again.

evergreen

that's not rude Raymond... well your right he is a very peaceful young male- and I'm proud of him he is far more mature than the other kids in his grade.... but yes I am annoyed he got bullied......

and this is s society where many men opt out of their role as a parent my kids father is one of those men..... and I guess because I choose to bring my kids up and focus on the family I haven't made room for another man to step in.... Griffin is a great kid this other kid is a huge problem with heaps of kids

I spoke to Grif about this issue this morning and he said he would hit him now because he feels stronger, the fact is that he only felt stronger when he was able to mouth off...... ti is actually a big thing to yell int he face of a bully Raymond most of them are so weak themselves that a verbal threat is enough to scare them off

you may feel that is a female thing to do but that really doesn't' sit with me I was one of those girls that would have whacked someone rather than argue.. basically I don't do that argue thing I didn't' have a strong mother figure in my life though ... so perhaps what gender our main role model is, is perhaps really the reason why we behave the way we do

swanlady