david hobbs
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Attention seekers.I do get a lot of enquiries and emails from people which never make the forum for general viewing. This is for obvious reasons, one being privacy.
I have noticed that some of the people who contact me are not so much seeking advice as seeking attention. Attention focused upon them their life their ambition and their inability to cope with or understand why their life is the way it is.
I know that members of this forum also deal with peoples issues on a regular basis and I don't think that it is just me who has this dilemma.
The first thing you notice with such people is that they never listen to what you say because they are so keen to talk about themselves.
I did tell one such person just last week that they didn't need me they needed a psychiatrist.
Well it needs to be told the way it is I feel.
What do you think?
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evergreen
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I agree David..... people need honesty if they aren't working on themselves it certainly is not our job to do so
Having said that you are also helpful so I hope they took your advice ;)
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david hobbs
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Believe it or not the person in question was a medical doctor.
That is one of a line of doctors in the last six or seven months.
Don't know why I am suprised but I am.
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mark
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one could presume stress
i believe it to be more than stress
many people want attention yep and they strive to get it anyway they can
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evergreen
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sometimes people just want to be heard... I guess it is good when you know you have to start by listening to your self and then listening to others.. but if you don't already know that you have to get to the point of knowing like with all things in life... you really do have to do the work to get the understanding of the message
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david hobbs
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You are very forgiving an generous Evergreen and I hope that you are right.
As for me.
If they are time wasting insecure attention seekers I shall tell them so.
If they accept that then I will go to any extreme to help them in any way I can.
Bet I never have to though.
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beantighe
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I certainly agree with you David that honesty is the best policy in these cases, even though it might not be what the person wants to hear.
It's weird that so many of the ones that have contacted you are medical doctors, but in a way it's poetic justice, as I've found through a lifetime's experience that doctors often treat their own patients brusquely too, so it's like giving them a taste of their own medicine. The only difference is, that patients go to a doctor because they're genuinely worried, not usually because they're attention-seeking.
Research has shown that doctors are in the highest group for suicides, depression and alcoholism - in fact a doctor my hubby once had was an alcoholic and he did commit suicide.
I don't wish to sound too unsympathetic, but I fail to understand why doctors should be like this in the first place. They are very well-paid professionals, and they charge for every extra, like certain certificates and medical check-ups, so unless they've got a particular problem like drinking or gambling, they really shouldn't have any money worries.
People who are so egocentric that all they want to do is talk about themselves really do have a huge problem. Either they are so insecure they crave reassurance, or they just love the sound of their own voice and need to have an audience to bolster their own self-esteem. Such people usually have a complete lack of self-confidence. I'd certainly recommend a psychiatrist too.
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meiah
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Sometimes searchers need to start with something they feel is real....which is themselves
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david hobbs
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And that is all they are interested in or see as real.
Are they searching for understanding or confirmation that their existences
are just the most important event in the history of the universe?
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laura
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harsh words i feel..........doesn't matter what proffession you are in or how highly paid... believe it or not even drs are human!! their insecurities are the same as anyones... more so... when you are dealing with life or death decisions/ situations on a daily basis. many of my friends are drs... i have given reiki treatments to a number of them, and yes... i would have to agree attention is what some need...if only someone to listen. i am happy to be that person, knowing what horrible situations some of them have to deal with.
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evergreen
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To be truthful .. I also get these people they come from all walks of life....
I think that they often feel misunderstood and they are constantly in search of others who will understand and confirm their own beliefs ..... it is important to remind them to go within .. as with all things the answers lay within
money has nothing to do with it.. surely we realise that money does not bring happiness happiness comes from within
David I guess I am forgiving or understanding or whatever.. it comes from feeling the pain of others and really in some way knowing where they are coming from... with that kind of understanding comes some power..... and I constantly require reminding that the power has nothing to do with the knowing and all to do with the understanding ... and that is the line I take with them.. they are powerless if they choose to be it has nothing to do with how many people understand them and has everything to do with how well they can understand themselves in that understanding is all the power they will ever need :)
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