Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:21 pm Post subject: Weird dream last night.
The dream was me in my Dads house.
Let me describe the upstairs to you all so you can understand the dream.
As you get to the top of the stairs, there is a long passageway running alongside the back bedroom. Just at the top of the stairs as you turn the corner is another three steps leading to the middle and front bedrooms. At the end of the passage next to the back bedroom is the bathroom.
As a child growing up, i hated that house. it always scared me with the amount of activity there.
Ok my dream..........
I was in the bathroom sat on the loo.
The bathroom was twice the normal length.
At the back end was te loo. Then next to it was the bath. At the end of the bath was a single bed.
There were no sheets on the bed.
Jade was lying on the bed with a blanket over her. I don,t know if she was sleeping or awake.
Mike was in the bathroom with us.
I said to Mike that he still had,nt put the tiles on the wall.
Then Mike was,nt there anymore.
I noticed that he had turned the landing light out and outside the bathroom was pitch black and i became very scared.
I started to run out of the bathroom and noticed that Jade had letters and numbers all over the sid of her face with black felt tip pen.
I run like the wind down the landing and felt something was behind me.
I took one leap at the end of the passageway down the stairs.
I knew i was going to be hurt when i landed at the bottom of the stairs.
As i landed, I did,nt land at the bottom. I slid under the duvet of my own bed in my own house. It was a really nice safe feeling.
The sheet and duvet felt soft against my feet.
As i slid into my own bed, I woke up. I actually woke up as i was sliding into my bed which was strange.
It was a horrible dream and i don,t understand what it meant at all.
Firslt begin to take the small practical steps you need to make changes adn improvements dont' always relie no others
looking at the small things while big things go on around you..
i also get the sense of creating your own drama via fear... there is a feeling that you are distracting others with small tasks while you tackle the big stuff on your own and some times you are creating your own drama
I also feel unsupported in areas of your life... especially with relation to children .. is it that when you really need people they are not there?
For some reason I get the sense that as a child you were both safe and unsafe in this house and that you have the same fear about the home you are in now.. it is related to Jade in the sense that you are fearful that not all is seen about her or not everyone is able to see what she is going through yet you see it so clearly... it appears she is looked after but not as much as you feel she should be... I also note that she is labeled for all to see and that feels very exposing and defacing
there is a fear of recreating something that took place in your childhood ... what went on with mum? there is a death or something like that ... I keep getting a sense of loss with your Swanny, I don't know what happened but I get the sense of feeling watched as a child- try not to worry you will be there for your kids :) _________________ as a babe drinks from its mothers breast so too does man milk mother earth
Ty EG.
Your spot on with my childhood. My mum died when i was seven. so death was very prominant in my life from a very early age.
Also i watched one of my friends Peter get killed accidently when a huge concrete wall fell on him and crushed him. I was five when that happened.
I felt safe and secure with my dad. but very unsafe in the house.
As when i was young, i had no control over seeing spirit or asking them to stand back.
They just crowded me continuously,and always touched me to get my attention.
I was so scared of the dark and the upstairs in that house.(still am afraid of the dark).
With Jade, I am fighting the education once more to get her the right support in school with her Ataxia.
Even with reports from her Neurologist, they are a law unto themselves.
So maybe i do create my own drama, in the sense that if i sat back and did nothing. then Jade would,nt get that support, I would have a quiet life.
Jade has been with us since she was five days old and we have adopted her now. But my sister has got to tell the childrens life story even to strangers on the bus. (Jade has two sisters & a brother who has reamined in my family also).
She is my daughter and i wish my sister would acknowledge that fact and let everything that happened to these children settle down. and let them get on with their lives.
I have this overwhelming fear of dying while my kids are still young like my mother did.
I,ve never told anyone my fear. so very good for picking up on that.
My kids are my life and dread not being there for them. I have no fear of dying. Just leaving my kids at a young age.
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